Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
post # 150: Happy Memorial Day
Below is a link for American Soldier by Toby Keith.
http://www.cmt.com/artists/az/keith_toby/videos.jhtml
Thank you to all our troops for your courage and patriotism.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
yep,....good stuff
Here's Your Sign
From Andy Rooney...
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "All right, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and says, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "#$%*, that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning ... okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" Couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge ... here's your sign."
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."
Anybody you know need a sign today?
From Andy Rooney...
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "All right, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and says, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "#$%*, that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning ... okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" Couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge ... here's your sign."
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."
Anybody you know need a sign today?
Sunday, May 14, 2006
winnie the pooh
"Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it.”
'When trying to ignore a knock at your door,
don't yell out, "No!" when someone asks,
"Is anybody at home ?'
-Winnie the Pooh-
“"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best -- " and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called”
'When trying to ignore a knock at your door,
don't yell out, "No!" when someone asks,
"Is anybody at home ?'
-Winnie the Pooh-
“"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best -- " and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn't know what it was called”
Friday, May 12, 2006
Monday, May 08, 2006
"funny....right?"
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i posted these once before, when i had just started blogging, so most of you haven't seen them.
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yesterday, i was standing in the park wondering why frisbees seem to get bigger as they get closer,... then it hit me.
******************************************
A man walked into a bar.
i posted these once before, when i had just started blogging, so most of you haven't seen them.
******************************************
yesterday, i was standing in the park wondering why frisbees seem to get bigger as they get closer,... then it hit me.
******************************************
A man walked into a bar.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
i took my younger brothers and sister to our beach yesterday, and i overheard part of their conversation. it went something like this:
Seth:"Maybe we can come here tomorrow too."
Josiah: "No, we can't, its going to rain."
Megan: "How do you know?"
Caleb: "Kayla said the weather people said so."
Seth: "But how do they know if its going to rain tomorrow?"
Josiah : "They have things that tell them."
Megan: "Yeah, like, I think the Space Needle maybe. Like, it knows the weather and stuff."
The Boys: *Nod their heads*
And I just sat there smiling to myself, so now they all think that the Space Needle controls the weather. : )
Seth:"Maybe we can come here tomorrow too."
Josiah: "No, we can't, its going to rain."
Megan: "How do you know?"
Caleb: "Kayla said the weather people said so."
Seth: "But how do they know if its going to rain tomorrow?"
Josiah : "They have things that tell them."
Megan: "Yeah, like, I think the Space Needle maybe. Like, it knows the weather and stuff."
The Boys: *Nod their heads*
And I just sat there smiling to myself, so now they all think that the Space Needle controls the weather. : )
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Monday, May 01, 2006
My little brothers were talking about Albert Einstein. They were trying to remember what year he became an American citizen, and Seth was like," Oh, that was a long time ago, like, in 1987." Really, I had no idea I was so old.......